the baseball gods

Whatever god you kneel before at night is understandably your business, be it the sun, Jobu, Superman, or Ganesh. Religion is a personal matter - I get it. And baseball is not without its deities. In baseball it is an undeniable fact that there is a higher power at work. Hardly ever are things attributed to chance or coincidence in this game. There is a deep reverence for these mysterious beings that look down on baseball diamonds from above.  To not acknowledge these beings is to bring upon oneself great misfortune in the form of seemingly incurable hitting slumps, befuddling fielding errors, and the inability to hit a curveball.

Pedro Cerrano, in the classic movie Major League, was fully aware of his fallibility as a human playing a divine game and prayed to Jobu to "come take fear from bats." Baseball players are a quirky bunch. They will do things like avoid stepping on the white lines, eat the same pregame meal if things are going well, or draw a cross in the dirt - the highest form of reverence to the baseball gods. And next time you see a pitcher sitting alone in the dugout in the late innings of a game it's because its believed talking to him will jinx him if he is in the middle of a no-hitter. Also, please do your part and do not under any circumstances say the phrase no-hitter. That is blasphemy of the highest order towards the baseball gods. They are listening. And they will punish said pitcher and end his attempt at perfection with an unwanted base hit.

Need further proof that the baseball gods do indeed exist? This past weekend I took in a Blue Jay game. In the later innings of the game some inebriated frat boys that sat near me took to the time honoured tradition of heckling the opposing team. Fine. All in good fun. That was until their remarks began to border on offensive. Not even the baseball gods could let this slide. For two innings they heckled and jeered and for two innings EVERY TIME they said something a Blue Jay batter made an out, but for one batter. I noticed the hand of the baseball gods at work. Clearly they didn't. And that one time they were presumably tonsils deep in their alcohol and unable to utter more nonsense, what happened you ask?! A homerun.
Baseball Gods 1, Dingalings 0.

The baseball gods are omni-present. Just remember that.